She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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