That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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