Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
