Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
