She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
