If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
