if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
