she looked like the bat from fern gully.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
