he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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