As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
