My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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