I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
