Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
