How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
