got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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