You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
