I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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