What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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