I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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