What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Fuck me I smell like cheese
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
