Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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