She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
