his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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