shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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