I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Never underestimate the power of titties
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