I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
