Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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