He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
