The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
