just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
