Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
