I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
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