Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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