Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
