if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
