do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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