I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
