Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
