Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
