i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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