Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Even my vagina gasped.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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