I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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