I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This toilet bowl is my home.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
