I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
