drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We are all done wearing pants today
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
