He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
