There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
