why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
