Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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