Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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