she kept yelling 'call me bella'
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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