is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
