Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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